Couples in adult theaters

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DM I thought the reviews were for the movie not the theater. It was less popular. Another spot was by the women's bathroom.

I think one of their 'games' was pretending they were a lady going in there, and then some guy would look through a peephole as the other guy did You have to understand, though, that those guys needed to mix things up in between semi-public masturbation sessions, seeing as how Holy what?

What kind of smut was this cinema showing for its customers to burn a whole day there? Also, how much money did Marvin's boss make selling sports drinks to dehydrated marathon masturbators someone get the electronic broom?

My boss would choose pretty mainstream things. Nothing too crazy, as in no fetishes. They wouldn't care what movie would be playing.

These aren't happy men," Marvin said. Then they would shuffle in, buy a ticket, and go start their day in the dark.

They would come out for peanuts, chips, popcorn we would sell in the lobby, and hurry back in like little rodents.

An entire 12 hours is a bit extreme, but it happened. On average, I estimate men spent four hours per visit. Well done.

Hey look, another double entendre. Good job, us. Anyway, despite literally everything we've mentioned so far, Marvin doesn't remember this job as particularly pleasant.

A month into the job, there's no way I could be aroused by an XXX movie. It was moving wallpaper, basically.

It's still like that. If I see an xHamster clip or whatever, it has no effect on me whatsoever By the seventh or eighth month, I dreaded working there.

Once the novelty wears off, you notice the atmosphere is thick with loneliness, yearning, and dissatisfaction. I still associate all porn with those feelings, which is probably why I don't like it anymore.

By being exposed to so much porn, Marvin eventually started seeing the man behind the curtain. And once he threw that pervert out of the theater, he also noticed that porn is kind of depressing behind the scenes.

The illusion is lost on me. That girl in the movie is paying bills. Most of the time, her vagina isn't wet. So much porn with dry vaginas!

And no one cares. It's fake. It's like wrestling. Imagine how much time that frees up for Marvin! He could cure cancer.

Or start playing Minecraft. Cezary Jan Strusiewicz is a Cracked columnist, interviewer, and editor. Contact him at c. Have a story to share with Cracked?

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2 comments

  1. Mezizil

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  2. Kajicage

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